Are you recovering from a recent breakup, whether from serious dating, engagement or actual marriage?
Did you suddenly discover that your partner, who had once professed to truly love you, actually despises and hates you, regarding you as truly worthless?
Have you been verbally attacked and hurled a long string of abuses with slammed doors and broken glass, where you were too shocked to even pick up the pieces?
This is not all that uncommon, as today, in the United States, more adults are single than married, and serial monogamy is fast becoming the norm with lifetime fidelity the exception.
This is, of course, tragic when little children are involved. There are severe financial repercussions, such as selling houses and arranging alimony, as well as more human issues, such as fighting over pets and the custody of children.
Whether a relationship can be saved, you must come to terms with a sudden loss of self-esteem and trust in other people. It is common to lose faith in everyone and everything; all the more so when you are an avid church, synagogue, mosque or temple-goer. When people can be so vicious, why not love your dog?
The problem will go back to a lack of discernment as to the type of love and the type of vows that were exchanged. Was it a marriage of convenience? Was it a glorified arrangement of, “If you scratch my back, I will scratch yours”?
Was it attraction, friendship or true love? Most importantly, what did God have to do with it? Was the final court of appeal your respective egos, or uniting your respective selves in our Higher Self?
The greatest evangelist who ever lived, Saint Paul of Tarsus, pioneered the Christian faith to the nations of the Roman Empire even before the New Testament was written. While these people had never seen Jesus of Nazareth, they were profoundly moved by His message of absolute love.
Saint Paul had started community after community in Syria, Turkey, Greece and Italy preaching and teaching out of people’s homes. These communities had flourished, as the faith filled a social vacuum.
Eventually, one of Saint Paul’s churches in Corinth became deeply divided, and got caught up in every priority but love.
They were overpowered by mystics, theologians and philanthropists of different sects, each teaching a different message. The congregation had become worldly and hypocritical to the point where the original flame almost died out.
Paul then wrote one of the greatest passages in all literature, his hymn to Divine Love in the First Letter to the Corinthians, Chapter 13. If the apostle had only written this one passage, he would have become famous throughout the world. He defines divine love in such a way that the reader realizes it is everything, that nothing is complete without it.
Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.
Related topic: How To Detach from pain and Pleasure
No matter how eloquent you may appear to be, if you don’t really love the people you address, you will come across to them as hollow and empty.
If you are a great mystic and reveal ultimate mysteries that no man or woman has ever heard, and though you are blessed with the highest faith to perform miracles on a routine basis, the apostle says that YOU ARE NOTHING.
He even goes on to say that if you give away everything you own, and sacrifice yourself as a religious martyr, and have not love, YOU GAIN NOTHING.
After the Apostle Paul makes it totally clear that love is everything, that without it we are nothing, he goes on to define how it operates in the real world.
Love suffers long and is kind;
Love does not envy;
Love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;
Love does not behave rudely;
Love does not seek its own;
Love is not provoked;
Love thinks no evil;
Love does not rejoice in iniquity;
Love rejoices only in the truth;
LOVE BEARS ALL THINGS;
LOVE BELIEVES ALL THINGS;
LOVE HOPES ALL THINGS;
LOVE ENDURES ALL THINGS.
Paul tops it off by maintaining that LOVE NEVER FAILS. At this point, you might wonder if he was even human, or if anyone has ever lived up to these high standards.
The Fab Four, the Beatles, finished up their spectacular musical career with the words, “ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE.” They sang this much like a Hindu raga, having their minds blown by psychedelics and meditation.
They had done it all and tried it all. Rich, handsome, famous, adored the world over. They had discovered a vastly expanded version of love through the Maharishi, and each encountered God in his own way.
Saint John, in his first letter, affirmed that, if you love not, you know not God, for GOD IS LOVE. If God is Love, well then, LOVE IS GOD. The only love worth having comes from God. The only way to access that love is to allow the Sacred Presence to express Itself through us. There are no short cuts.
When, through a spiritual practice with intense devotion, you drink deeply of God, day after day, night after night, that love will begin to spill out in your life to everyone around you, INCLUDING YOUR SPOUSE.
Strangely enough, you don’t have to be outwardly religious, but you must be inwardly spiritual. God is deep within you, in the very nucleus of your being. YOU ARE LOVE. The question is how best to penetrate your social masks and get underneath your shadow.
For most of us, the way is to let go of our conscious, egoic self, and turn over our hearts and lives to our Source. You can’t MAKE yourself love ANYONE.
True love is always spontaneous.
When you turn to your partner and admit that you don’t have it all together on the outward plane, but you have unshakeable faith in the God of Love, and what He is doing in your life, you will recruit her unquestionable devotion every time.
Broken hearts and broken relationships occur only as a means to bring us back to God. We need to live on a higher plane with a vastly more expanded love. You will know you are there when you see clearly that it is most definitely not your love, but another Love flowing freely through you.
Don’t 'try' to love… instead… fall in love with every moment and every being. Ignore their differences and imperfections. All of them have something unique to offer. Fall in love with that…
The journey begins by invoking, or calling forth, the real presence of the divine, in whatever form speaks most clearly to you. Invite Higher Love to join you daily. You will begin to discover true love, because you will finally begin loving truly… and your relationships will never be dull or hollow.